allow me to set the scene:
around 8:30pm. me, my mom, and paul are all sitting in the living room…..well i am laying on the floor, arms and legs spread out……..the boys have been fed, bathed, and are asleep (hence me laying on the floor…) and the house is quiet. the conversation goes like this:
mom: today went really well i think.
me: yeah me too. ….i ate all the kit kats.
me: i ate all the kit kats. from the freezer.
mom: (confused) oh…k…..why?
me: …*sigh*….i felt i deserved it at nap time…..
i hope other parents can relate to this.( i FULLY realize, by the way, that we are in NO WAY parents, and this little trial run was accomplished only by the ratio of 3 adults to 2 children…which, by the way, is the perfect ratio……all families should operate like this, because, it really does, in fact, take a village….those polygamists are really on to something……) but i just want to throw a “solidarity, sister” fist bump out there to all the parents who turn to a sweet treat to indulge themselves with at the end (or middle) of the day. to you i say: you DO deserve it! parenting kicks a$$ (it’s not swear-typing when you use dollar signs..fyi).
and it has NOTHING to do with the kids. ashur and tyson are amazing. so loving, and kind, and fun. i’m realizing that….it’s just……..kids……all kids….. and you would think i would realize this from teaching….and to a certain extent i did…….but parenting is a full time, round the clock, never get a break job. who knew.
it’s an incredible responsibility to not only just keep kids alive, but to do that well. to know when to bob and when to weave in the daily interactions. how to stay one step ahead of them to avoid melt downs, fights, or giant messes. it take a lot of mental energy. (i’m sure so many of you parents right now are shaking your head and thinking “oh honey….that’s cute that you think you understand parenthood after 4 days…with 3 adults in the house…” and you’re right.) but i really did learn a lot these days. i found myself already questioning my “parenting skills,” and second guessing my decisions. worrying about whether or not i was doing not just a good job, but the best job i could. maybe i was totally over thinking the whole time (shocker.) but i guess since kids aren’t so far off for us, i was really using this as a gauge for our future.
i know we will adjust well when that day comes, but honestly we came home after it was all said and done and slept for 3 hours. uninterrupted. then we went to a movie. and then slept again for 9 hours uninterrupted. and. i loved it. every drooling, dreaming second of my sleep.
so here’s i am, parents, standing and slow clapping to each and everyone of you. go get yo-self a kit kat.