here’s the deal: it’s been a long time since i’ve sat down and really just….blogged….. i have been posting recipes and home projects, but when i created this blog i did so as an outlet for my personal self too; a place to document my life, my struggles, my triumphs…. and i feel like i’ve kinda gotten away from some of these topics…………i think i’ve figured out why, and this is where ally mcbeal comes in…
a while back pauly and i signed up for netflix, and since then have been enjoying a wide variety of movies, tv shows, and documentaries. i find it comforting, honestly, to have some ‘back ground noise’ on during the days when i’m home, and i tell myself i will multitask with shows and laundry, or making meals, or cleaning the bathrooms….
the problem, however, is my addictive personality. see, i can’t just watch a show, or one movie. just like i can’t occasionally drink a diet coke, or buy a starbucks latte once in a while. if i am going to do, i’m going to do it. and since tightening up my diet, i have discovered this unfavorable phenomenon over and over in my life. i realized it first with food, and now am finding it to be true with tv watching. i just can’t stop. oh, and as far as multitasking goes….let’s just say i could tell you ‘frasier’s’ entire life story…or write it in the grime on the bathroom counter……i have learned that the only way for me to overcome something negative is to cut it out of my life. (i’m a wee bit all or nothing, can you tell?)
so, the other day i had a conversation with pauly that went like this:
me: i have to tell you something, but it’s embarrassing so don’t laugh
pauly: *laughs, cautiously* okay….
me: i mean, you can laugh, i would, but just know that that will probably also hurt my feelings…
pauly: okay. i won’t laugh
me: *sigh* no…now…..i just…i’m making this weird. laugh. it’s fine.
pauly: *sigh* why don’t you just tell me, and i will decide to laugh or not…
me: okay. that sounds good. *beat…* *beat…* i think i’m addicted to tv….
the conversation continued from there..(pauly didn’t laugh….too much…) and i told him that i am really struggling now finding the motivation or desire to do anything with my ‘spare time’ other than watch my latest tv series….which is ally mcbeal as of late….and i know it may sound silly but it’s really true. i haven’t really felt like blogging, i’m not getting the house organized like i really want to, and i really was late for our bible study on monday night because i just had to see how season 1 of ally mcbeal ended. there are so many better things to fill my time with, and i knew i needed to cut the ties and be done with netflix for a while.
so that night after our talk, pauly cancelled our netflix account. and i honestly had to tell myself “well..it will just be for a while..just to break this habit…i’ll be back…it won’t be forever….” literally like a drug addict. because honestly, it really was an addiction. i felt like it was starting to affect my mental functioning. and i don’t want to feel the need to count frasier crane, ally mcbeal, and adrian monk among my ‘close friends’.
so there you have it……..a little dramatic? oh, probably. but that’s my life. and i think only good things will come of this…so check back soon to see what amazing things i am filling my time with now! (insert pictures of me napping, open mouthed on the couch: here.)